Brianna Kahane is not only an 8 year old violin prodigy, she is a humanitarian.
“I want to bring music back to Haiti and have
Mr. Joseph’s school rebuilt because I think all people
in Haiti were smiling and need to smile now too.”
Inspired by Haitian music teacher Romel Joseph, who was buried for 18 hours under the ruble of his music school during the Haitian earthquake, she has raised millions of dollars to help him rebuild his school and his smile. Thank you Brianna!
Michael Jackson burst into my life when I was a junior in high school and I first heard him sing, “I Want You Back” on the radio.
I remember driving around that summer with friends in my mom’s burgundy ‘68 mustang convertible with the white top down, going to Kopp’s Drive-In in Milwaukee and blasting the radio volume, singing along with this 10 year old boy whose voice secretly captivated even the most jaded and prejudiced of our still unofficially segregated city.
My friend Kathy, now a brilliant attorney representing Native Americans, danced and sang with abandon to his music and entertained us all at 16 years old, leading to smiles that erupted into peals of laughter and a group sing-a-long. In a recent phone call remembering that special time, she said to me, “I think his music opened doors for all of us to really appreciate African-American music and other cultures in a way we couldn’t have otherwise.”
Fast forward 40 years, in San Diego, just 90 miles away from Neverland and Staples Center where the Memorial was going on today, I watched on CNN as Michael Jackson was being remembered by his close friend Brook Shields. I was surprised to learn that even with all the masterpiece songs he wrote and performed, his favorite song was also one of my favorites: “Smile.”
While writing this post I was also surprised to discover during a google search for the “Smile” lyrics that they were written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons in 1954 for Nat King Cole and to the melody written by Charlie Chaplin in 1936 to accompany his last silent film “Modern Times.” Perhaps a trite detail unless you consider a deeper meaning: a genuine smile transcends all human barriers including race, culture, language, age, gender, personality, and often, even attitude.
Some with “atittude” say that “Smile though your heart is aching” is being inauthentic. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances. No question, there are times when it feels like it’s impossible to smile, and given Michael Jackson’s life and death, he had many of those times, like we all do if we’re honest with each other. And yet, he kept trying to smile and share his creative genius in whatever way he could.
My own experience and new scientific research is showing that consciously choosing to smile makes you feel better and relieves pain and sadness in the moment. And yes, the song’s lyrics do say, “Hide every trace of sadness…what’s the use of crying,” which is a great drive-time platitude, but as in the case of Michael Jackson and anyone else with significant pain of any type, smiling as your primary strategy to hide sadness instead of addressing the pain head-on with professional help doesn’t eliminate personal challenges and weaknesses, and often makes things worse.
But smiling is an empowering short-term coping strategy, especially combined with singing and dancing and connecting with people you love. Your smile has the power to lift you or someone you love out of a funk. Your smile is the inspiration to get everyone focused on what’s right with our world so we have the strength to heal what’s wrong in our world. Here’s the catch though, we have to take a stand to help each other choose to smile and sing and dance AND lovingly witness each other’s pain when we most want to ignore it - again and again and again - to keep the energy moving in a healthy direction.
It’s easy enough to focus on our own shortcomings, even more so others, especially when they’re alive, and so much easier to focus on their gifts and strengths after they’ve died. I don’t pretend to understand Michael Jackson’s lifestyle choices, so I choose to focus on his gifts and learn from his shadow behavior, believing that ultimately this choice is what transforms human frailities into divine legacies.
My prayer and vision for our world is that the legacy of Michael Jackson will guide us as a global community to choose to carry on the absolutely life-saving power of holding each other in our strengths, celebrating each other’s gifts, and bringing light to our shadows while we’re alive so that the only choice each one of us can heartfully and logically make when we struggle is to heal the shadow, seek the light in our smile and keep choosing to fully and creatively live the life we’ve been gifted.
SMILE
Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.
We mourn the loss of Michael Jackson and may not be able to bring him back, but we can thank him by choosing to pay forward the legacy of his creative spirit and loving heart. Watch him singing, “Smile,” on this touching video tribute.
If you’re unable to view the video, here is the YouTube link: http://bit.ly/v6Xom
The Journal of Motivation and Emotion reports that whether or not a person is smiling in their college yearbook photos can be a strong indicator of marital satisfaction or divorce based on two studies conducted at DePauw University in Greencastle, Indiana.
In the first study 655 alumni had their college photos ranked by how big their smile was (2=no smile, 10=beaming grin).
In the second study 61 adults 55 years and older had 8 photos from the ages of 5-22 reviewed.
Both studies found that the bigger your smile, the more likely you are to be still be married compared to the non-smilers.
First of all, while it makes a great case for the importance of smiling, do we really need a study to know that smiles attract and sustain healthier relationships. Just look at two people in love or best friends walking down the street.
Second, has your mind wandered back to your own photos? Mine did. We didn’t sit for formal portraits for a yearbook, but I do have a candid photo of me beaming walking off the stage after accepting my diploma, and…I was divorced three years later. So many possible interpretations in hindsight, however, what’s most important for you and me is that we smile more often and show bigger smiles with our loved ones now.
Two of my favorite TV shows growing up were “To Tell the Truth” and “What’s My Line,” both of which included Kitty Carlisle, a stage actress and long-time entertainer who passed away last week at age 96 and whose dry sense of humor always made my parents laugh, especially my mother.
Knowing what I now know about rewiring the brain for success, when memories pop up out of the blue such as this joyful one, I smile and remember to give thanks, as most memories of my parents have been ones of my father being angry and my mother being sad. Logging new, happy memories increases both my satisfaction and life success, and it can do the same for you, as long as you choose and keep choosing to create the new pattern in your mind and smile while you’re doing it.
Thank you Kitty Carlisle!
‘I’m more optimistic, more enthusiastic, and I have more energy than ever before. Energy comes from doing the things you want to do. You get so tired when you do what other people want you to do.
~ Kitty Carlisle commenting on her life at age 79
Do you think it’s possible that Ms. Carlisle, who was still singing and laughing her way on the stage until just a few months ago, might have increased her lifespan another 17 years with that kind of thinking?
With everything we’re learning about the science of positive thinking, this is another great reminder of the power of choosing and expressing positive thoughts, especially when our childhood has conditioned us to think or remember otherwise, as it appears Kitty Carlisle experienced along with me, and perhaps you.
“She was indeed an optimist. As a girl, she once said, she would try to lift her mother out of her frequent dark and angry moods. ‘Oh Mummy,’ she imitated herself saying, ‘it won’t rain and there will be a picnic and everybody will have a wonderful time.’ She wrote in her autobiography that she started each morning by smiling at herself in the mirror.” ~ San Diego Union Tribune, April 22, 2007
Whatever your childhood experiences, or for that matter, any experience you’ve had until this moment, is your past, a memory, a story that lives or dies depending on how often you revisit it If you’re telling that hurtful or negative story over and over, stop telling it.
If the painful memory keeps showing up, here are three tips to help you:
Tell your mind lovingly and firmly to show you how you made the experience work for you or how to make it work for you
Look for what the gift was in the memory now that time has passed and notice how you triumphed and chose to make yourself the amazing person you are today (You did didn’t you? You’re still here, aren’t you? You still can, can’t you? Yes, you can!)
Acknowledge the memory quickly, and choose another memory that makes you smile
If you can’t find a positive memory, do not get stuck in frustration; go make a new memory of something good for yourself and someone else - it’s guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and help someone else, and that is your gift.
Daring rescue of whale off Farallones ~ Humpback nuzzled her saviors in thanks after they untangled her from crab lines, diver says.
It’s whale watching season here in San Diego so amazing stories like this one reported in the San Francisco Chronicle are top of my mind. Early morning beach walks on the cliffs of Torrey Pines State Reserve have me scanning the horizon for whale spouts and tail-slapping waves.
It’s also amazing to think that this specific whale could be passing through San Diego right now because of the good works of so many people. This makes my heart smile and I know it will yours too.
A study led by Dr Erik J Giltay of the Psychiatric Center GGZ Delfland and published in The Archives of General Psychiatry, followed 941 Dutch subjects, ages 65 to 85, from 1991 to 2001.
Subjects were ranked as pessimistic or optimistic on the basis of their reactions to statements like, ‘I still have positive expectations concerning my future’ and, ‘I often feel that life is full of promises.’ Dr Giltay and his colleagues found that subjects with the highest level of optimism were 45 per cent less likely than those with the highest level of pessimism to die of all causes during the study…
Happiness will always win out over sadness; being optimistic will always make you feel better than being pessimistic, and whether you can train yourself to be happy or not, a smile always makes things seem just a little better. And for the optimists out there, if a smile happens to give you a longer life, that’s just an added benefit.
Have you been to the The Good News Network International website? Every day you’ll find new posts of good news from all over the world. It’s a great way to keep a smile on your face.
Geri Weis-Corbley is the founder of The Good News Network. Please support her site and sign up for her daily newsletter. You can even volunteer to be a good news provider. Imagine what our world could look like if every newspaper had a front page with Good News section. Geri’s working on it and I support her efforts. TIP: Sign up for the The Good News Network newsletter and make GNN’s home page your browser’s home page. You’ll assured that you’re filling your mind with positive energy every time you sign on to the internet. Your immune system and your subconscious mind will thank you.
One of today’s entries on GNN that really got to me included a story about a woman in Chile who saved a lion from abuse in a circus and the lion’s response. The photo below is only part of the story.
For the longest time I have imagined a network news station that focuses on good news. We’re getting closer every day. Tonight, for the second time in two weeks, Larry King interviewed several of my colleagues who are leading positive thinking experts on his show themed “The Power of Power Thought.” Even better he has committed to doing these kinds of shows more regularly. Thank you Larry and CNN!
Read the transcripts for Part 1, which include interviews with Bob Proctor, John Assaraf (a good man - he was the volunteer auctioneer who helped raise over $150,000 for one of my favorite foundations that supports Young Women Leaders - The Jenna Druck Foundation), Rev. Michael Beckwith (I attended a wedding last weekend that he performed - what an amazing light he is!), Dr. John DeMartini (a powerful presence for gratitude), and JZ Knight (I did my senior college thesis in psychology on her unique personality; got an A :-)).
As soon as Part 2 is posted, I’ll add it here. It includes James Ray (I’ve participated in his Power to Win and Quantum Leap programs. They’ll shake you up and shift your thinking for sure!), Jack Canfield (I’ve been blessed to have my stories published in five Chicken Soup for the Soul books), Joe Vitale, George Pratt, and Jane Payne.
Larry King: “The power of your thoughts can improve your life, and science can prove it now.”
Smile Diet Tip: Add a smile while you’re thinking and not only will you improve your life, you’ll feel more joy while you’re improving it.
From today’s Chicago Tribune article “YouTube founder rides video clips to dot-com riches.”
“Today, Chen is not quite a household name. But his manically moussed hair, his gold hoop earrings and a smile that could light a small city seem to be everywhere.”
A few facts about Steve Chen, co-founder of YouTube, that you may not know:
He has a cat named Stinky who sleeps on his back in Steve’s new San Francisco apartment.
He’s 28 years old and working on his college degree at the University of Illinois after leaving U of I when PayPal came recruiting during fall break of his senior year.
Chen is the code-writing genius behind YouTube, having a “keen interest in computers and high-level mathematics since his parents emigrated from Taiwan in 1986 to set up an import business in Chicago’s northwest suburbs.
He and his co-founders Hurley and Karim (who left shortly after the company started - ooh, wonder how he feels about his partners getting 1.65 BILLION for selling YouTube?!) discovered a public need for a fast way to download video to the computer and YouTube was born one night at a dinner party at Chen’s home.
Steve Chen’s success is a great example of living and succeeding with enthusiasm and using Smile Diet principles to create that success:
* Radiate energy (a smile that could light a small city)
* Do What You Love (mathematics and computer code for Chen)
* Nurture Your Support Network (dinner parties for friends)
* Act on Your Dreams (leaving school to work at PayPal because he was “sensitive to the time window that the opportunity was going to exist” and then going back while working to finish.)
If you’ve ever questioned your ability to rise above difficult circumstances, you CAN. Just read this story and watch the video and you will be transformed.
Now they’ve done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don’t you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you’d do on your own? “No way,” he says. Dick does it purely for the awesome feeling he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
