The number one thing men notice instantly on a woman, according to a new study reported by Cosmopolitan.com, is her smile, followed by hair, cleavage, and skin.
1. Smile. Does it seem sweet and genuine? Does it seem awkward and forced? Does it seem like you ate a sesame-seed and parsley salad for lunch based on what’s lodged between every single one of your teeth? Steal these tips to glam up your grin.
“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter,
for in the dew of little things
the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
~ Kahlil Gibran ~
Give an extra smile to someone today. You never know when it might save a life. And at the very least, it will increase your vibration.
Here are some of my favorite smile quotations from the Internet. All are credited to that famous philosopher Anonymous. If you can prove the original author, please let me know, as I think it’s important to give recognition wherever we can.
 “Don’t frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.”
(Found the above quotation in several places, including the awesome Small Business Social Media Expert Karriann Graf (read her blog)
“A smile is a light in the window of your face to show your heart is at home.”
“Don’t cry because its over, Smile because it happened!”
“If you don’t start out the day with a smile, it’s not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.”
Michael Jackson burst into my life when I was a junior in high school and I first heard him sing, “I Want You Back” on the radio.
I remember driving around that summer with friends in my mom’s burgundy ‘68 mustang convertible with the white top down, going to Kopp’s Drive-In in Milwaukee and blasting the radio volume, singing along with this 10 year old boy whose voice secretly captivated even the most jaded and prejudiced of our still unofficially segregated city.
My friend Kathy, now a brilliant attorney representing Native Americans, danced and sang with abandon to his music and entertained us all at 16 years old, leading to smiles that erupted into peals of laughter and a group sing-a-long. In a recent phone call remembering that special time, she said to me, “I think his music opened doors for all of us to really appreciate African-American music and other cultures in a way we couldn’t have otherwise.”
Fast forward 40 years, in San Diego, just 90 miles away from Neverland and Staples Center where the Memorial was going on today, I watched on CNN as Michael Jackson was being remembered by his close friend Brook Shields. I was surprised to learn that even with all the masterpiece songs he wrote and performed, his favorite song was also one of my favorites: “Smile.”
While writing this post I was also surprised to discover during a google search for the “Smile” lyrics that they were written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons in 1954 for Nat King Cole and to the melody written by Charlie Chaplin in 1936 to accompany his last silent film “Modern Times.” Perhaps a trite detail unless you consider a deeper meaning: a genuine smile transcends all human barriers including race, culture, language, age, gender, personality, and often, even attitude.
Some with “atittude” say that “Smile though your heart is aching” is being inauthentic. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances. No question, there are times when it feels like it’s impossible to smile, and given Michael Jackson’s life and death, he had many of those times, like we all do if we’re honest with each other. And yet, he kept trying to smile and share his creative genius in whatever way he could.
My own experience and new scientific research is showing that consciously choosing to smile makes you feel better and relieves pain and sadness in the moment. And yes, the song’s lyrics do say, “Hide every trace of sadness…what’s the use of crying,” which is a great drive-time platitude, but as in the case of Michael Jackson and anyone else with significant pain of any type, smiling as your primary strategy to hide sadness instead of addressing the pain head-on with professional help doesn’t eliminate personal challenges and weaknesses, and often makes things worse.
But smiling is an empowering short-term coping strategy, especially combined with singing and dancing and connecting with people you love. Your smile has the power to lift you or someone you love out of a funk. Your smile is the inspiration to get everyone focused on what’s right with our world so we have the strength to heal what’s wrong in our world. Here’s the catch though, we have to take a stand to help each other choose to smile and sing and dance AND lovingly witness each other’s pain when we most want to ignore it - again and again and again - to keep the energy moving in a healthy direction.
It’s easy enough to focus on our own shortcomings, even more so others, especially when they’re alive, and so much easier to focus on their gifts and strengths after they’ve died. I don’t pretend to understand Michael Jackson’s lifestyle choices, so I choose to focus on his gifts and learn from his shadow behavior, believing that ultimately this choice is what transforms human frailities into divine legacies.
My prayer and vision for our world is that the legacy of Michael Jackson will guide us as a global community to choose to carry on the absolutely life-saving power of holding each other in our strengths, celebrating each other’s gifts, and bringing light to our shadows while we’re alive so that the only choice each one of us can heartfully and logically make when we struggle is to heal the shadow, seek the light in our smile and keep choosing to fully and creatively live the life we’ve been gifted.
SMILE
Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.
We mourn the loss of Michael Jackson and may not be able to bring him back, but we can thank him by choosing to pay forward the legacy of his creative spirit and loving heart. Watch him singing, “Smile,” on this touching video tribute.
If you’re unable to view the video, here is the YouTube link: http://bit.ly/v6Xom
The Journal of Motivation and Emotion reports that whether or not a person is smiling in their college yearbook photos can be a strong indicator of marital satisfaction or divorce based on two studies conducted at DePauw University in Greencastle, Indiana.
In the first study 655 alumni had their college photos ranked by how big their smile was (2=no smile, 10=beaming grin).
In the second study 61 adults 55 years and older had 8 photos from the ages of 5-22 reviewed.
Both studies found that the bigger your smile, the more likely you are to be still be married compared to the non-smilers.
First of all, while it makes a great case for the importance of smiling, do we really need a study to know that smiles attract and sustain healthier relationships. Just look at two people in love or best friends walking down the street.
Second, has your mind wandered back to your own photos? Mine did. We didn’t sit for formal portraits for a yearbook, but I do have a candid photo of me beaming walking off the stage after accepting my diploma, and…I was divorced three years later. So many possible interpretations in hindsight, however, what’s most important for you and me is that we smile more often and show bigger smiles with our loved ones now.
Take today to the top! Watch the 3 minute video “Smile and Move”
When I first saw the headline “Smile and Move,” I thought excitedly, “Oh, that’s great! Someone’s taken the Smile Diet and Body Shake that I teach in my seminars to raise your enthusiasm and body energy and they turned it into a video! Brilliant! I want to know more!”
As it turns out, “Smile and Move” is another great application - also in The Smile Diet - of focusing on using your strengths and passion to serve others with the same intended result as The Smile Diet: Seek out what inspires you, appreciate what inspires you, and enthuse the world with what inspires you every day. Enthusiasm is your Spirit’s inspiration in action.
The story behind “Smile and Move” makes it even better. What a great way to remind yourself of the power of your smile and your ability to move into positive action and help children and employees do the same by focusing on your greater vision for your actions.
There are also some great tips on the website to create a “Smile and Move” workplace. Here are two of my favorites:
Greet interruptions from team members and colleagues with a smile. It’s important that they feel comfortable coming to you when they need something.
Avoid personal gossip in the office, and encourage your team to do the same. Strike an upbeat tone to help people focus on one another’s accomplishments.
Take your day to the top! Smile and Move! Mary
For more “Smile and Move” tips or to read the story behind “Smile and Move,” click here.
The Ninety-Second Smile Challenge: What a great way to help another person, particularly a child, understand that they have the power to change their mood and that their energy is contagious. From a blog entry by Billy Obenauer
 “Okay,” I said. “Here’s the challenge. I’m going to set my watch for a minute and a half,” I told him, “and I want you to force yourself to smile for the entire time. At the end of ninety seconds, you can do whatever you want, but I promise that you’ll be in a good mood. Do you want to give it a try?” Read more
Since creating the 21-Day Smile Diet several years ago, I’ve recommended that people wake up every morning and practice the 16-Second Smile. But this is first time that I’ve heard someone suggest a 90-second smile. No question that the longer you hold a smile, the more your physiology changes for the better. But most people will not allow themselves that opportunity unless they’re asked to do it. And even then, there is often resistance.
Over 20 years ago I was in a seminar with a speaker who had us partner up and stare at each other for 90 seconds and not say a word or make any noise. I laughed and thought, “What’s the big deal?” OMG! Try it sometime! Especially with someone you don’t know well or have never met before. One of the most embarrassingly uncomfortable 90 seconds I can remember on record. And the interesting thing is that the person I was partnered with became a friend and we are still in touch although we have always lived more than 2500 miles apart. We both attribute the reason to that 90 seconds in time when we peered into the windows of each other’s soul’s. I wonder now, how that 90 seconds might have been easier and more enjoyable if the instructor had said, “Smile at each other for 90 seconds.”
Hmmm…also makes me wonder how our day might turn out if we started our morning dressing ritual with a 90-second smile in the mirror and the words “Thank You.”
This is such a fun song by Dan Zanes guaranteed to make you smile. Take a 2 minute break, turn up your speakers and keep smiling while you’re listening. When you consciously smile while you’re listening to and watching something you enjoy, you crank up your internal endorphin machine that helps relieve more stress from your body and increases your happiness level.
SMILE (lyrics) by Dan Zanes
every time I think of you,
smile for a while
that’s the one thing you always do
smile smile smile
acting out stories and hugging your friends
smile for a while
i know what i’ll do when i see you again
i’m gonna smile smile smile
chorus:
like ripples in a pond
or runners who pass the baton
good feelings will go on for mile after mile
and your big heart circles the world
every time that you smile
doing those voices and telling your jokes
smile for a while
your crazy hairdos and your thrift shop coats
smile smile smile
every time you break into a broadway song
smile for a while
the whole world starts singing along
smile smile smile
well you know i love you and i’m glad you’re my friend
smile for a while
you know what i’ll do when i see you again
smile smile smile
What you do is so important. And when you forget it, watch this short video clip, “Validation.â€
Validating yourself or someone else with a smile and a compliment is one of the fastest ways to make your life better and someone else’s. My friend and gifted art therapist Donna Otter just sent me a YouTube video “Validation.†It is SO GOOD that it even resurrected this blog after a year of silence! “Validation” is one of the best short films I’ve ever seen. I smiled, I laughed, I cried - all within 15 minutes. I realized again how much we all need each other’s smiles and encouraging words every day wherever we find ourselves - waiting lines are a great place to start, and especially the DMV office.
You just never know when your smile will change someone’s life. Kudos to the creators of this film. If everyone followed the heart and humor of Hugh Newman (the lead character in this film), there would be peace everywhere on our precious planet, or at the very least a lot more happy people floating around. Peace starts with a smile. Watch the video (as of this writing there have been 969,066 views!), and then go give someone a genuine 16 second smile and tell them how great they are. I’m sending you a 16-second smile right now. YOU are great!
“Sometimes your joy is
the source of your smile,
And sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
One of the reasons I’m so enthusiastic about the 16 Second Smile is because it turns you into a JOY MACHINE. You will literally FEEL MORE JOY when you smile more often and for longer periods of time.
Have you ever noticed that most people smile for only a 1-3 seconds?
By smiling a big enough smile to create eye crinkles and holding it for at least 16 seconds, you release endorphins into your body. Take a look at the photo below and notice the lines around this man’s eyes. Eye Crinkles. That’s how you can tell if you’re getting the physical benefits of a smile.
And doesn’t he LOOK HAPPY? It feels good just looking at the smile in his eye. That good feeling is the release of endorphins (pleasure chemicals in your endocrine system) into your body. Instantaneously! Isn’t that awesome!?
If you continue to allow yourself to keep smiling and really feel the good feelings, your mind starts to think thoughts that match your good feelings, which can lead to ideas and actions that create a burst of joy. And then more joy. And more joy.
Simply by choosing to smile for 16 seconds, you create a positive cycle of joyful energy. And even better news is that the more you do it, you create a brain pattern that memorizes the experience, which makes it easier to access when you need it.
How’s that for beating depression, anger, frustration, resistance, disappointment, rejection, and every other negative emotion that visits on occasion? You can control how you feel and a 16-Second Smile can help you do that!
Give the 16-Second Smile a try right now and see what I mean.
The number one thing men notice instantly on a woman, according to a new study reported by Cosmopolitan.com, is her smile, followed by hair, cleavage, and skin.
The Ninety-Second Smile Challenge: What a great way to help another person, particularly a child, understand that they have the power to change their mood and that their energy is contagious. From a blog entry by 
