RIP Michael Jackson
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
Michael Jackson burst into my life when I was a junior in high school and I first heard him sing, “I Want You Back” on the radio.
I remember driving around that summer with friends in my mom’s burgundy ‘68 mustang convertible with the white top down, going to Kopp’s Drive-In in Milwaukee and blasting the radio volume, singing along with this 10 year old boy whose voice secretly captivated even the most jaded and prejudiced of our still unofficially segregated city.
My friend Kathy, now a brilliant attorney representing Native Americans, danced and sang with abandon to his music and entertained us all at 16 years old, leading to smiles that erupted into peals of laughter and a group sing-a-long. In a recent phone call remembering that special time, she said to me, “I think his music opened doors for all of us to really appreciate African-American music and other cultures in a way we couldn’t have otherwise.”
Fast forward 40 years, in San Diego, just 90 miles away from Neverland and Staples Center where the Memorial was going on today, I watched on CNN as Michael Jackson was being remembered by his close friend Brook Shields. I was surprised to learn that even with all the masterpiece songs he wrote and performed, his favorite song was also one of my favorites: “Smile.”
While writing this post I was also surprised to discover during a google search for the “Smile” lyrics that they were written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons in 1954 for Nat King Cole and to the melody written by Charlie Chaplin in 1936 to accompany his last silent film “Modern Times.” Perhaps a trite detail unless you consider a deeper meaning: a genuine smile transcends all human barriers including race, culture, language, age, gender, personality, and often, even attitude.
Some with “atittude” say that “Smile though your heart is aching” is being inauthentic. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances. No question, there are times when it feels like it’s impossible to smile, and given Michael Jackson’s life and death, he had many of those times, like we all do if we’re honest with each other. And yet, he kept trying to smile and share his creative genius in whatever way he could.
My own experience and new scientific research is showing that consciously choosing to smile makes you feel better and relieves pain and sadness in the moment. And yes, the song’s lyrics do say, “Hide every trace of sadness…what’s the use of crying,” which is a great drive-time platitude, but as in the case of Michael Jackson and anyone else with significant pain of any type, smiling as your primary strategy to hide sadness instead of addressing the pain head-on with professional help doesn’t eliminate personal challenges and weaknesses, and often makes things worse.
But smiling is an empowering short-term coping strategy, especially combined with singing and dancing and connecting with people you love. Your smile has the power to lift you or someone you love out of a funk. Your smile is the inspiration to get everyone focused on what’s right with our world so we have the strength to heal what’s wrong in our world. Here’s the catch though, we have to take a stand to help each other choose to smile and sing and dance AND lovingly witness each other’s pain when we most want to ignore it - again and again and again - to keep the energy moving in a healthy direction.
It’s easy enough to focus on our own shortcomings, even more so others, especially when they’re alive, and so much easier to focus on their gifts and strengths after they’ve died. I don’t pretend to understand Michael Jackson’s lifestyle choices, so I choose to focus on his gifts and learn from his shadow behavior, believing that ultimately this choice is what transforms human frailities into divine legacies.
My prayer and vision for our world is that the legacy of Michael Jackson will guide us as a global community to choose to carry on the absolutely life-saving power of holding each other in our strengths, celebrating each other’s gifts, and bringing light to our shadows while we’re alive so that the only choice each one of us can heartfully and logically make when we struggle is to heal the shadow, seek the light in our smile and keep choosing to fully and creatively live the life we’ve been gifted.
SMILE
Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.
We mourn the loss of Michael Jackson and may not be able to bring him back, but we can thank him by choosing to pay forward the legacy of his creative spirit and loving heart. Watch him singing, “Smile,” on this touching video tribute.
If you’re unable to view the video, here is the YouTube link:
http://bit.ly/v6Xom
